


Monsieur Lounge

by beccaj327



Category: Beauty and the Beast (2017), Beauty and the Beast - All Media Types
Genre: Bestiality, Crack, Crackiest crack that has ever cracked, F/M, Gen, Humor, Humorous Ending, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, I'm Going to Hell, Kinda, Not Serious, Other, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 07:47:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11778609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beccaj327/pseuds/beccaj327
Summary: Prompt: bestiality + sex on, against, or under furnitureBelle and Beast have a tryst on a couch. But forgot the couch was a staff member.OR:The crack fic no one asked for but got anyway.





	Monsieur Lounge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StanfouQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StanfouQueen/gifts), [Kadian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kadian/gifts).



> I was shown a website that gives you two random kinks as a writing prompt. One morning I opened it up, and got "bestiality + sex on, against, or under furniture". And my brain went WILD. I regret nothing.

It happened the night before Belle ran away to save her father. The Beast and she had been arguing over something silly when it quickly turned flirty. Belle and The Beast fell into a heated make out session, much to the staff’s surprise. When clothes started flying about the room, the entire staff hurried away, horrified (yet oddly hopeful) at the realization of what was happening. 

The only staff member unable to get away was Monsieur Lounge. The poor servant had the unfortunate position of being the object they had been sitting on when the entire scene unfolded.

Adam had tried to apologize to the poor man after the curse was broken. He offered the man money, land, full weeks off of service with no repercussions, but the man would simply run away from Adam without uttering a word. He was just too mentally scarred by what he had witnessed.

It was weeks later when the staff realized they hadn’t seen Monsieur Lounge for a few days. When they checked his room, they found a note:

 

To Whom It May Concern;

I have decided I can no longer live here, in the castle. What I witnessed haunts me day in and day out. I cannot sleep. I cannot bare to be in the same room as our prince and princess. I am torn between wishing the curse had never been broken and I were to remain a lounge chair for the rest of my days, and wishing I had been killed in the siege.

I have decided, then, the best course of action is to admit myself to the asylum. Take care, all. I will forever love you all.

Monsieur Lounge

P.S. Belle, you do not need to fake it for the prince's sake. Allow him to know when he has not pleasured you well enough, for it is the only way he will learn.

P.P.S. Adam, get your head out of your arse and learn what a clitoris is. Belle will thank you for it.

**Author's Note:**

> http://promptgenerator.tumblr.com/kink2
> 
> ^^ Best thing ever ^^


End file.
